I’ve been on a meandering and meaningful path of reinvention since September 2016, when I left a 15-year, meteoric career at Overstock.com. I burned so bright, burned out, and followed the smoke to Colorado where I jumped into the Cannabis industry, which at the time was just emerging recreationally legal in only two states.
I’ll share more on that later, but as I’m launching my website and my podcast, I’ve been reflecting on all of the seismic shifts in 2020. It’s clear we are ALL currently in the process of reinventing ourselves – because of change both good and bad – the global pandemic, the long overdue attention on BLM, and the general state of world affairs.
So I’ve pushed myself to make this time meaningful. Instead of abandoning myself and my needs while charging full-force into a brand new, high-profile job, I actually walked away from that job and saw my priorities begin to shift…
I meditated. I reflected. I spent time with my family. I sat outside. I called my friends. I listened. And I listened to the universe.
And then I took action.
I decided it was time to raise my hand and run for the State Legislature in Utah (more to come on that), and recently declared my candidacy for the Utah House of Representatives – District 21.
I decided to let go of my part-time, dreamy, fairy house in Los Angeles, and made the trek to my Utah hometown to live full-time for the first time in four years.
And what a homecoming it’s been! I arrived in Utah to a home with new energy because right before Covid, I ended a 12 year relationship with my partner. He’s still one of my best friends, but the relationship has a very different structure and dynamic.
Anxiety. Maybe a little dread. Is this my final destination for the duration of 2020?
I soon discover there are birds in my wall! Literally living inside the walls. I make 25 calls until I find a company that is brave enough to take this job on. The “bird team” arrives and they cut a 4 foot piece of wall away to reveal 15 birds, 2 birds flying around, and one, poor dead birdie being eaten by maggots…Really? This is my life…
A massive windstorm hits and blows over two trees. Time to phone my ex who dutifully comes over with a chainsaw to help me.
The birds have literally infiltrated the property – there are bird nests EVERYWHERE which means bird poop EVERYWHERE! Which I suppose I could live with, but it’s important for humans to spend time outdoors, in the sun, so I need to sit on my deck. Time to break out the power washer, only to find it’s broken. Off to buy a new one!
I get my hair done in a social distanced way. Thank god for that because on…
The water heater breaks, and it turns out day 4 was the last day I could wash my hair or get a good shower, until day 8.
The dryer stops heating up, and it still needs to be fixed.
My ex tells me he’s on Tinder, I’m like, “what?” So, I decide to get on too.
I showered and spent the day swiping right and left.
Days Nine + Ten:
They were spent trying to do what I wanted to do the first 8 days which was to clean out cupboards and drop off tons of stuff to donations before my POD of LA stuff arrives – FAIL.
The POD arrived and I’m wasn’t ready for it.
I’m now on day 15 and still trying to come to terms with why my house is greeting my homecoming with a big F you. Both garage doors are broken, I have more stuff than any human actually requires, and donations now have to be scheduled… So I’m living with boxes piled high in the living room.. Things I really want other people to have! It’s a little overwhelming. But life can get that way sometimes.
I generally project a happy disposition, but I’ve been struggling a little recently…let’s be honest. It’s not the stuff, it’s not the house. It’s EVERYTHING. I take quarantine and the spread of Covid very seriously. I always wear a mask and I’m a master a social distancing, which is new for me. For the past 20 years, I’ve spent quite a lot of time on the road, running at full speed, juggling new social situations with aplomb. It’s become an almost involuntary habit of getting up and going, going, going… somewhere…
I hit a brick wall this past weekend, and took two days off from the computer, from the closets, from it all. Ironically, while I should be celebrating the break, I’m beating myself up for the rest. It’s all part of the reinvention, I suppose but damn, the new, unknown life is hard. I suppose the only thing I can say is, at least I’m not alone because I think we are all going through it. And we’re doing it together, and we’re doing it imperfectly, which is the best way to be.
Welcome to my crazy, unfiltered journey. I’m happy you’re here.